My Skin Journey.

For years I have struggled with my skin. Since being 11 I can remember having acne prone skin and it has been a tough battle. I firstly want to say that having acne is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions and can turn out to be very character building. Although it causes insecurities, it helped me over come that and showed me how to be confident and comfortable in my own skin.

When I was younger, I was very very insecure about my skin. I HATED my skin. I couldn't cover it up, I couldn't make it go away and I was told I just had to wait it out. I had been to multiple doctors, dermatologists, chemists, beauticians and makeup artists, begging for a solution to either make my bad skin go away or show me how to make it invisible.

All of these 'solutions' individually were very expensive, and NONE of them worked for me. I spent a fortune on skin creams, scrubs, serums, moisturisers, face masks, foundation, primers, spot treatments, herbs and supplements, the lot. My mom and I did endless research on ways to cure acne and turned to a holistic approach.

This is where the game changed. I realised that all of these harsh chemicals I was putting on my skin were actually harming it more than what it was healing it. I have been told that I should NEVER put anything on my skin that isn't organic, natural or that I wouldn't eat. From here I tried different masks and face washes out of natural products and I did see a slight difference in my skin. This was the first part of healing my skin, not putting harsh products onto my delicate skin.

The next big part of healing my skin was the contraceptive pill. Now I know this is like woah, TMI, but hear me out. I was prescribed the pill I am on because my hormones were totally out of whack. As a result of unbalanced hormone levels, I developed cysts on my ovaries, which at 15, isn't great, so this pill was at the time, soully to get rid of the cysts on my ovaries which were causing me to have really heavy periods, cramps to the point of passing out and cystic acne.

After about a year on this pill, my skin started looking a lot better as it prevented further acne. Now, of course, it is totally natural to have a break out around your period, but its nothing severe. All I am left with now is scarring from beauty treatments in effort to rid my acne but after time , they have began to fade.

When I was younger, I used to cover myself in makeup everyday, just to try to cover up my acne. To me, I thought I looked much better and felt better about myself. At my school, we weren't allowed to wear makeup, full stop. I was told by a few teachers to go and take it off but many of my teachers were aware of my insecurities and turned a blind eye - in all fairness, I only wore foundation and mascara, not a full face of contouring and eyeshadow ect. I can remember one day at break, a girl I knew turned to me and said, 'Why do you wear so much make up to school, you don't need to'. I can remember feeling embarrassed at the time, because it was in front of other people and most of my friends had perfect skin. But this was a huge wake up call for me. The next day I came to school with no make up on and no one treated me any differently, no one even really noticed. This made me feel so good because I was so conscious of what people would think and say about me. This was a big turning point, I stopped wearing make up and my skin could breathe. This also helped contribute to my skin clearing up.

The next big part to clearing up my acne was my diet. I'm 99.9% sure I am allergic to dairy, as most of my family are and I have noticed that I get flare ups when I eat dairy. This is a hard portion to cut out of your diet, especially when you love natural yogurt as much as I do. As a result of this, I have cut out dairy and try my hardest to live a paleo based diet. I try to eat mostly veg, fruit, nuts, seeds and meat to obtain all of the required vitamins and minerals I need. And the one we have been waiting for... water! I try to drink at least 2 litres of water a day to keep my body and skin hydrated. One thing I find is that when I get into a good work out groove, my skin improves because I'm sweating out all of my toxins. And the good old vitamin D, the sun helps fade my scarring SO much.

Lastly, Like I mentioned earlier, I have tried a million different products and skin care regimes. My skin care regime currently consists of, a good cleanser and a natural oil based moisturiser, nothing expensive or fancy, really basic but it keeps my skin clean and nourished. My skin is no where near perfect, but it is good enough for me and I feel it is important to share my experiences and what I do to look after my skin, as it is always changing and developing so I'll be back with an update!

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

I've been thinking about my outlook on life recently. I have always been a really positive person and I have been brought up in a family where we have been taught that your day and your life is what you make it. If you wake up and you have already decided that it is a bad day, you're bound to have a bad  day. My mom always made a good point of trying to put my brother and I into a good mood before school to put us in the right mind set for the day. She always used to say 'seize the day', 'make today your day', 'kick Monday's arse'.

Recently I have been questioning my happiness. Am I happy with my body? Am I happy with my job? Am I happy with my social life? And I have realised that since the death of my uncle and the immediate moving of countries after that event, that I have actually really been suffering with the mental trauma of that period of my life. Because a lot changed, very quickly and I didn't give myself enough time to grieve. I started college and got a job straight away, which is good because I kept myself busy, but I found that it actually made me bottle it up more, which then made me more prone to emotional outbursts and breakdowns. This is the first time I have actually admitted that I am struggling, because I wanted to be strong for myself and everyone else.

I suppose I have tried to keep myself busy by trying to make new friends and throwing myself into my job. And because I have been so busy, I haven't taken time out to heal myself. I have realised I need to concentrate on myself to ensure I am at my upmost happiness and that I am not just going about my daily life because I have to. For months my life has just been, work, family, home. Although I am ecstatic that I get to spend more time with my family, I need time for me, I need time to make friends, I need time to explore, go to gigs, make memories and travel. I need time to grow, and to live a carefree teen life, where I don't have to worry about anything.

And this is where I begin to question myself. Am I doing what really makes me happy? What satisfies my soul? Am I going to bed and making up with a smile on my face? Because at this age I should be.

I have found that I have gotten too comfortable with having no friends and staying in on a weekend. that shouldn't be what my teenage years are about. I used to be a pretty confident girl, but I now feel like I'm boring and unapproachable. Which then leads to  a vicious cycle of self doubt. I do enjoy time to myself, but I really thrive off of the company of good friends and I really bounce off of other people.

So recently I have had a little awakening, like some one has shaken me, slapped me in the face and told me to get my shit together. This is the part of my life like in the movies where I am trying really hard to motivate myself and turn my life around. I have my eyes wide open and I am eager for new opportunity. So to concentrate on myself I have joined the gym and have promised myself I am going to stick to a paleo based diet, to make by body feel good. I am to be spending more time out with friends and family, who make me feel good about myself and push me to be the best I can be and I am taking time out for myself, to progress and accomplish the things I want in life.

Most importantly, I am upping my vibe. I want to attract the right crowd who make me feel good and genuinely satisfy my soul. I want my life to be about having a good time and actually living. I want to wake up with a smile on my face and skip to work without a care in the world. This is the best thing I could do for myself. It is hard, moving county and starting over, especially when everyone else's life is already falling into place, they already have their friends and their network and their routine ect. Whereas, I am completely starting over, and I don't think some people understand how hard it actually is. But I'm determined it'll all work out, it just takes time to settle and meet people and do new things. It will all fall into place and everything happens for a reason, I'll eventually meet the right people and find the right places, I just need to make it happen.

My travel essentials.

I've been doing a lot more traveling recently and have a few things I literally cant travel without. I'm a bit of a freak about organisation and love baggage with lots of different compartments. I once had a Nike rucksack that had so many different compartments, but it got stolen at Reading festival while I was at Chilli Peppers and I was SO upset, but they emptied all of my stuff all over the tent, at least they left me my clothes ha.

I like to travel light and if I can only take hand luggage, I will. Waiting for luggage is one of my major pet hates, it does my head in ha; my suitcase is guaranteed ALWAYS the last bag out haha. Because I usually travel with hand luggage, it means I can only take toiletries that are 100ml or under; which isn't usually a problem as I always buy perfume, deodorant and make up that is 100ml or under. The only issue is that bringing things back can be a problem. If I'm fully kitted out for two weeks in a hand luggage case, it means I can't shop and bring things back; so you need to find a balance that suits you, I guess.

I've always wanted to go travelling/ backpacking. I'm not particularly a materialistic person, so I would never bring any 'expensive 'possessions, but I just worry about where you would put your stuff if you wanted to go exploring. If anyone has any tips, they could come in very handy for the future.

One thing that I have never had, in all of my years of toing and froing between countries is one of those comfy travel pillows. I suppose I never saw the point of them, especially when I was younger because I never slept while travelling; but now that I am older, as soon as I'm on that plane, that's it, I'm asleep; especially if there is a bit of turbulence, it always rocks me to sleep. But finally, I gave in and got one because I was sick of having a bad neck because I'm a freak and can only sleep curled up like a baby, luckily I'm small enough to be able to do that. I have to say, it was totally worth it, it did help and the cool bit is that it clips around your bag so you don't have to carry it or shove it into a bag.

A little thing I like doing, purely for the comfort, is bringing fluffy socks. Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE fluffy socks. So I just take my shoes off, stick them under the seat in front and put comfy socks on. Happy feet, happy soul.

Leading on from the previous point, I have now learnt it is not wise to travel in my 14 hole doccies as they always, without fail, make me take them off. It is much more convenient to wear my converse, it saves all the faff. Another time saving tip I have learnt over the years is to just take all of your jewellery off beforehand and just stick it either in a little bag or a compartment in your bag. But as anyone would, I just leave all of my piercings in, if you're going through the full body scanners and it shows up, the airport security usually understand anyway. So the aim of the game is to be able to just stick your bag and your coat into a tray and just walk through without all of the hassle of taking off your jewellery,  boots, coat and already have all of your toiletries in a zippy bag.

When I was younger I used to be really insecure about my skin and how I looked without make up on. So I used to get up an hour earlier than necessary just to do my make up, even if it was a really early morning flight. Make up and hair always gets ruined while you're travelling, so I stopped bothering completely. at a push I might do my brows, stick on a bit of mascara and braid my hair and that's it. Its all about comfort and the freedom to sleep and rub your face without a care in the world.

Another thing I do is putting all of my travel paperwork, tickets and passport in a sealable plastic wallet; this helps with organisation so much. This way everything you need is in one place and there is less of a risk of losing it. I didn't start doing this until I started travelling alone and had to keep hold of ALL of my own paperwork. I know most people do this but, in case you don't, it's a good idea.

I have a few handy little bits I tend to keep in my bag most of the time - not just when I am travelling.

Portable chargers are a no brainier really, if you run out of charge, you're not going to be a happy bunny, also, mine has a torch on it, which is cool. I always have my diary in my bag in case I need to make notes or plan things. moisturiser and lip balm in your bag is always a lifesaver, I hate it when I'm travelling and the aircon on the plane gives me dry skin, hands and lips. Next time I am definitely investing in a good quality eye mask and ear plugs; I hate it when all I can do is close my blind and not everyone else's and the plane is still really bright and there is nothing worse than being stuck on a plane with a screaming baby for 6 hours, so I'm opting for earplugs next time ha.

Last and definitely not least, snacks! When I'm not sleeping I'm eating. I usually like taking a bit of variety. If there is a Pret at the airport i'll get a sandwich, some fruit, a smoothie, a breakfast bar of some sort (my favourite are the Trek cacao and coconut bars), a bag of crisps and a couple of bottles of water because I get so dehydrated when I am travelling.

My list will be forever expanding and changing, I'm still figuring a lot of things out, but for now, this is what my journey usually consists of. Any tips and tricks, please let me know!